Hot chips and pizza had a baby. It’s the greatest goddamn thing you’ll ever make. Close this tab if you appreciate the way your arteries currently function. If not, carry on reading for a recipe that will change the way you see the world.
STEP 1: Buy frozen chips. I went with the McCain ‘Healthy Choice’ variety. You will be using all 10 servings in the pack for the one pizza base which is definitely what the McCain brothers intended.
STEP 2: Cook all the chips and let them cool.
STEP 3: Once cool, layer them in a circle and try to bunch them as close as possible so there’s no gaps. I mostly arranged the chips in a way that is perpendicular to the pizza radius because this is scientific as fuck and will make your pizza have lots of STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY (we will learn more about this later).
STEP 4: Sprinkle some cheese over the top. Again, I went to the least amount of effort possible and bought pre-grated cheese. I won’t judge if you want to get all fancy and DIY grating, but let me remind me you are making a pizza made of chips. You parted with sophistication a long time ago.
IMPORTANT: Get cheese in all the cracks. Cheese is the glue that holds this beast together. Again, very important for STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
STEP 5: Put it in the oven. A normal oven-y temperature, until the cheese has just melted.
STEP 6: Layer all the other toppings on top of the cheese. I used tomato paste, mushrooms, pepperoni and more cheese.
Note: I got too excited at this point and forgot to take photos, but you will be OK without a photographic guide to show you how to assemble toppings. I believe in you.
STEP 7: Put it in the oven for about 5 minutes or until the cheese has melted and the chips are starting to look crunchy.
Isn’t it beautiful?
STEP 8: Take a few mins to bask in the radiance of your creation. This gives the chips time to get a bit more crispy which is the third thing that adds to the all important STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
STEP 9: Get a pizza cutter and go in for the slice.
STEP 10: Pick up your slice of chip pizza, you amazing genius.
You see that? That’s what they call STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
Structural integrity is the difference between holding a solid slice of chip pizza between your fingers or dealing with a depressing and sloppy bowl of loose chips covered in pizza toppings.
This angle will allow you to see more of the structural integrity.
See? That’s physics.
Don’t be put off by all this science-talk though. The main things you need to create your own chip pizza is an appreciation of sheer brilliance and a desire to bring happiness and beauty into the world (and some chips and pizza toppings).